Be Selfish - #20

Be selfish in the morning so you can be selfless the rest of the day.

The Idea

Selfishness gets a bad reputation. But the truth is, it’s not about putting yourself above others — it’s about putting yourself together first, so you can actually show up for others.

Many people assume I’m the poster child for this mindset, but honestly, I’m not even the best example in my own house.

That award goes to my wife, Katie (insert Borat voice). She wakes up at 3:30 a.m. every single day. Not for work. Not because she has to. But because that’s the only time she gets to herself, before the kids wake up, before the chaos starts, before the day claims her. After those first few hours, she serves everyone else throughout the day.

That quiet space isn’t indulgent. It’s essential. It’s where she centers herself before giving her best to everyone else.

So what can we learn from that kind of intentional selfishness?

Figure Out What You Need First

Before you can serve others, you have to know what fills your tank.

For me, it’s simple, albeit sometimes painful: 4:30 wake-up. Cold plunge. Eat. Train. Eat again. Sauna.

That’s my reset sequence. It’s not glamorous, but it’s what allows me to show up clear, focused, and ready to lead through whatever comes next.

If you don’t know what that looks like for you, that’s your work. Because no amount of “grind” will compensate for running on empty.

Find Time When the World Is Quiet

The early hours are sacred. The world hasn’t started pulling at you yet.

As the day goes on, demands multiply (calls, emails, noise). The later you wait to claim time for yourself, the less of it you’ll have left.

So yes, the bed is warm. Yes, the alarm stings. But every morning you choose stillness before chaos, you remind yourself that your life is yours to set the tone for, not the other way around.

Control Your Nights to Own Your Mornings

If you want to win in the morning, start the night before.

Set a boundary with your time. Stop scrolling. Put the phone down. Go to bed like it’s a commitment to your future self, because it is.

Discipline doesn’t start when the alarm goes off. It starts when you decide what kind of tomorrow you want to wake up to.

Final Thought

Being selfish in the morning isn’t about ego, it’s about intention.

You can’t pour into others if you’re constantly running dry.
You can’t lead well if you’re always catching up.

Start your day by investing in yourself (mind, body, and spirit) so you can give the best of yourself to everyone else.

Be selfish early. Be selfless often.

Additional Resources

• Book: Man’s Search for Meaning – Viktor Frankl – Buy here

• Podcast: Huberman Essentials: The Science of Gratitude & How to Build a Gratitude Practice – Listen here

• Stoic Quote of the Month: “How long are you going to wait before you demand the best for yourself?” — Epictetus

• Hold yourself accountable to a higher standard first in order to be of service to those around you later.